Note: This is more of an overview of how we moved from Australia to the United States of America. There is quite a lot to do when moving to a new country! The US and Australia are both English speaking countries, and whilst speaking the same language makes most things easier to navigate, there are a lot of cultural differences to learn and understand. Additionally, government forms and processes to set up our identities and bank accounts are different to those in Australia. Being a foreigner with no credit or rental history is a challenge in the US. I’ll address this in my next blog post with practical tips around navigating the process of moving overseas, and provide a more detailed explanation of the steps required.
Do we stay or do we go?
I can still remember sitting on the sofa one evening with my husband when he casually mentioned a job opening in the US. We had a little laugh and a brief chat as we imagined what our lives might look like in a different country. I don’t think I realized it then, but this chat planted a seed of “what if.”
Over the next few weeks, that seed sprouted and grew as we realized that this opportunity was very real and available to us. Once we had crossed the hurdles around finances and logistics, it became an emotional decision for us and the kids. We needed to decide if living on the other side of the world from our family and friends was worth the adventure. Spoiler: we decided it was!
Eight weeks(!)
The countdown began: we had eight weeks to pack up our lives and move to the other side of the world. More importantly, eight weeks to prepare ourselves and our children for the reality of living far from familiar faces and places. We talked openly with them about the changes ahead, balancing excitement with the acknowledgment that goodbyes would be hard. My husband left after eight weeks, and we decided that the kids and I would follow three weeks later.
The first step was arranging a visa. An immigration lawyer handled the process on our behalf and organized our interview with the US consulate. Next was getting removal quotes and arranging storage. Our move to the US was never intended to be permanent, so we decided to rent out our home in Sydney and store some of our belongings. We packed enough to fill a shipping container that would be shipped to our new home, while the rest was stored or disposed of. We sold our cars, withdrew our kids from school, bought airplane tickets, and threw a farewell party.
Once the basics of departure were sorted, we focused on arriving in the US. I lay awake at night researching school curriculum, healthcare options, how to get a driver’s license, and so on. Suffice to say, I didn’t get a lot of sleep during those two months but I’m glad I did this research before we moved because it took a lot of the pressure off once we arrived.
A Nervous Wait: Preparing for the Big Move
My husband went ahead first. He needed to start his new job and find us a home before the kids and I arrived. The kids and I stayed with my parents for a few weeks while I finished up my job and they wrapped up school. It was a nervous waiting game until our turn came. My husband worked with a relocation expert in Tampa, Florida, to find a house, get a social security number, and complete all the other mundane tasks required to establish oneself in a new country. To his credit, when he picked us up from the airport three weeks later, he’d not only found a home, but he’d also bought a car and set up utilities and bank accounts—all while starting a new job.
As my departure date drew closer, I started focusing on the small details of our move (probably as a distraction from the larger challenges). I ordered food and laundry items for our new home, connecting to a US VPN to make online shopping easier. I selected new linen, a coffee machine, and a few home comforts, having everything sent ahead to our new address. These small tasks made arriving in a new country after 20 hours of travel feel a little less overwhelming.
In an attempt to prepare myself, I did what any elder millennial does—I googled “moving from Australia to the USA.” I also searched Facebook groups to find others who had embarked on a similar journey. It was through this research that I discovered the term “trailing spouse.” I learned that I was about to become one: someone who leaves their home for the sole reason of following their partner, usually due to the partner’s career.
The stories I read painted a bleak picture. Trailing spouses often give up their own careers, face challenges in finding work where their qualifications may not be recognized, and shoulder much of the responsibility for setting up a new life. I felt daunted by this information. Was I making a mistake? Would I lose myself in the process?
Over a year on from first reading those articles, I can confirm that much of it is true—but it’s not the whole picture. Along with the challenges came the discovery of strengths and skills I didn’t know I had. The self-confidence that comes from facing and overcoming hurdles is something I never anticipated. Yes, I miss my family, friends, and the familiarity of my Australian home. But I’ve also experienced the joy of meeting new friends, exploring a new country, and redefining my own identity. Without getting too philosophical, I feel like my approach to middle age is not set against the backdrop of comfortable and mundane but rather something invigorating, unexpected, and exciting. I’m choosing to embrace the change and be resilient.
Touchdown: Our New Beginning
The first few months in the US were a blur of new experiences. I’ll never forget the feeling of stepping off that plane, exhausted yet buzzing with anticipation. Seeing our new house for the first time, driving on the opposite side of the road—it was all part of the adjustment.
Sharing new experiences has helped to bring our family closer together. We laugh and cheer at the wins, as well as share our fears and frustrations about the unknown. We do more together as a family and communicate better with each other as we try to support each other on this new journey. We’re taking each day as it comes and feel privileged to be able to live in a different country.
Are you thinking of making the move to the US? What are you looking forward to most about moving?
From Sydney to Somewhere 